Dear Entity that Controls the Weather

This has been a civil conversation thus far. Now, the gloves are off.

I don’t think you understand our working agreement. As of 3/31, each year, there is to be no new snowfall. The forecast tomorrow better be your idea of a prank and the snow better not show.

If it does show, and you kill my awesome crocuses (crocii?), you and I will be having more than words. Seriously.

The threat of a foot of wet, heavy snow does not sit well with this snow hater.

Your Thoroughly Annoyed Fairweather Friend,
Laura